Nitzavim

I was born four years after my parents left the Old Country. It was a hard life for them, and they suffered under the rule of those who enslaved them. It’s been a long trip since then to where I am today. I’m standing at the foot of a great mountain, just days from starting anew. Wait! I feel a tap on my shoulder. Mom? Dad? Is it really you? I’ve missed you all these years since you left, each of you dying much too early. I felt robbed of the opportunity to care for you in your old age, as many of my peers are doing for their parents now. But it warms my soul to see you. There are so many stories I yearn to share, about how I have attempted to bring honor to your memory through the life I lead. At the same time, Al chet shechatani, I ask your forgiveness for the times I fell short in honoring you, obeying you, and remembering that you did the best you knew in raising a family after emerging from troubled times.

Those people standing next to you – are those your parents, your siblings, and your ancestors? It is an incredible honor to finally meet you face to face after seeing the old photos of life before the War. You were taken from your homes, tortured and brutally murdered. You didn’t have the honor of becoming grandparents, and my parents did not have the privilege of sharing with you the joys of raising a family. I didn’t know how to refer to you, since my relationship with you felt so distant. As I stand at the foot of this great mountain, I ask your forgiveness, Al chet shechatani, for not being more vigilant in the work of social justice, to prevent history from repeating itself.

I turn to my other side, and I see my children and grandchildren, and future generations of our family standing with me. I am blessed to be a matriarch of our family. I have chosen many paths during my lifetime and pray that my choices have given my offspring the tools to make informed decisions for their own paths, to make their lives a blessing. It takes courage to take the step into the sea as my parents did before me. There are many seas along our life’s journey. I remember the promise that Adonai, our God made long ago, and as we are about to enter the Promised Land, I trust that God will acknowledge us as God’s people, as He swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, and Leah.

I have seen along the way those who have turned away from God’s ways. I must say that there were times when even I missed the mark in my actions. My heart leaned towards idolatry, searching for wealth, power, and other blind aspirations. At those times I felt God’s anger, and sought to return to the right path through teshuva – repentance, tefilah – prayer and self-reflection, and tzedakah – reaching out to others in righteousness.

I now see through my own path, that if I continue to turn away from God, that these future generations will suffer misfortune. You, my children, and those beyond, will see the plagues and disease that appear as the drying of the seas, global warming, illness, and famine. When you ask why the earth is in such disarray, you will look back at our generation and will shake your heads in dismay. We woefully turned our backs on that which God provided that would enable us to escape from slavery and journey to the land that we are about to inhabit.

I stand here today, at the foot of this great mountain, surrounded by those upon whose shoulders I stand, and upon those who will stand on my shoulders, ready to ascend the mountain. I feel my heart opening as it pounds, and I sense the hearts of those around me reaching out to the hearts of others. The path is not really that complicated. It is not beyond our grasp. It is not above us nor below us. On this eve of Rosh Hashanah, I start to climb to new heights. One step at a time, like my parents stepped into the sea, one foot in front of the other. And in the distance, if I open my eyes to see, my heart to feel, and my ears to hear, I hear the words of God: Ha’idoti vachem hayom et hashamayim v’et ha’aretz, hachayim v’hamavet, natati l’fanech habracha v’haklala, uvacharta bachayim … “I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life – if you and your offspring would live – by loving the Lord your god, heeding God’s commands, and holding fast to Him. For thereby you shall have life and shall long endure upon the soil that Adonai swore to your ancestors, to give to them.”

Ken y’hi ratzon – May it be God’s will