Rosh Hashanah 5780

A woman steps in front of a bus and dies instantly. She finds herself at the entrance to Olam Haba, the World to Come, being greeted by God.

God looks the woman up and down, and says "Hmm ... Strange. It's not your time! I'm sending you back."

"Sending me back? How long until it IS my time?" she asks.
“Worry not, my child. You have many, many more years until it is your time. You will live until the ripe old age of 108!"
She's sent back to Earth and pops into her miraculously repaired body. She gets up, dusts herself off, and with a huge smile on her face immediately heads to the plastic surgeon. She proceeds to get a face lift, a tummy tuck, hair implants and more. "If I'm going to live to the old age of 108, I might as well look my best!" she happily thought.

After all the surgeries and cosmetic procedures and makeovers, she looks STUNNING. Beautiful, pouty lips and a tiny waist and long luscious hair. She walks out of the salon and BAM. She's hit by a bus and dies instantly.

Once again, she is at the entrance to Olam Haba and again, is greeted by God.

"What in the world was that?!" she exclaims, "You said I was supposed to live until 108!"

God looks her up and down and says "Well I didn't recognize you!"

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Most, if not all of us, spend part of our day planning how we will appear to the world when we step outside our front doors. The clothes we wear, the hairstyle, the make-up, and any accessories we choose to adorn ourselves with communicate to the world part of who we are. In the modern world, we can change our outer image in the operating room to remove blemishes, enhance what we lack, and of course, downsize body parts that feel excessive. The outer changes come with a price, some of which may be covered by insurance. The rest may come out of our bank accounts. The changes can improve our self-image and can literally transform the quality of our lives.

In the Torah, our patriarch Abraham goes through life-changing experiences so powerful that they transform him both physically and spiritually. We read earlier in Genesis that Abraham circumcised himself, a ritual that set the stage to seal the covenant of spiritual security for himself and all future generations of males. His name, Avram, and his wife’s name, Sarai, were changed to Avraham and Sarah, internalizing and sealing their deep commitment to Adonai.

We now read about events that transform our patriarch even more. At the age of 100 he becomes a father to Isaac after having Hagar give birth to Ishmael, Abraham’s firstborn. Isaac and Abraham have a unique bond as we hear when later God calls Abraham to take his son, his beloved son Isaac up the mountain. Imagine the joy of Isaac’s birth, after waiting a lifetime to become parents and finally in their old age, Sarah and Abraham have their beloved son, born through laughter. Abraham prepares a great feast to celebrate Isaac’s weaning, and then Abraham’s joy is brought to a halt as Sarah demands that Hagar and Ishmael be expelled so as not to share the inheritance of Isaac. Abraham is torn between his ties to Ishmael and his marriage to Sarah. The burden of choice seems unfair. God steps in to assure Abraham that by listening to Sarah, Ishmael will not only survive but will thrive. Truly Abraham’s trust in God elevates his soul as God’s promise is reiterated from the earliest of time.

Abraham’s faith is further put to the test as God commands Abraham to ascend a mountain in the land of Moriah, to be a burnt-offering. So strong is Abraham’s trust in God that he does not question this mission. Even when Isaac asks about the presence of a sheep for what seems to be a routine journey to make a sacrifice, Abraham assures his son that God will provide what is needed. The wood that Isaac carried up the mountain turns out to be the wood on which he is ultimately put upon, and just as Abraham, stretches his hand to slay his son, a messenger of Adonai stops him. “Do not lay your hand on the boy; do nothing to him – for now I know you are in awe of God, since you would not deny Me your son, your only one.” (Gen. 22:12). Because of Abraham’s willingness to follow the voice of God, the messenger assures Abraham again that he will be blessed, multiplying Abraham’s seed like stars in the sky and like sand by the sea. His seed will possess the gate of its foes, and all the earth’s nations will be blessed through [Abraham’s] seed. (Gen. 22:17).

The Yamim Nora’im, the High Holy Day season, provides an opportunity for us to reflect on our actions of the past year, and to prepare for the year ahead. This holiday, the birthday of the world, reminds us that we have a chance to change our ways for the better, to transform our souls. Change is not always easy. In fact, I’ve heard it said that change is fine … as long as I’m not the one who has to do the changing. But it is the only constant in life. With its constant flux, life demands adjustments. Essentially, change is the new norm.

So how do we transform ourselves as we open a new chapter in this Book of Life? In a 2016 article in the publication, Inc.com, contributor Nicolas Cole outlines seven steps to transforming yourself from who you are into who you want to be.

Step 1 – See yourself outside yourself. We are constantly re-creating ourselves. Taking a step back and allowing our inner beings to be reshaped without emotional attachment allows us the freedom to become, to evolve. Turning feelings of failure into opportunities for feedback can take us places on our life’s journey that we had no idea we could reach. Just like Abraham, we can become fruitful in all that life has to offer.

Step 2 – Find the habit associated with the thing you want to change. I heard a woman on a recent medical talk show ask about having one of her front teeth adjusted because it had been worn down due to her grinding in her sleep. The doctor giving the advice noted that of course, she could have the tooth altered, but until the issue of her grinding was addressed, the repair of the tooth would have short-lived success. Similarly, if there is a part of our life that needs changing, what is the root of the discord that is causing the need for an alteration?

Step 3 – Practice every day, no matter what. When I was a child my parents bought an organ, and signed me up for organ lessons. Every week I went to my lesson, and every week my teacher could tell that either I had practiced enough, or that I hadn’t. If I practiced daily, she would know. And if I didn’t practice, she would know that as well. Getting better at a skill is hard work. Learning by osmosis doesn’t usually work. Jascha Heifetz, or maybe it was Arthur Rubinstein was once asked, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” His answer: “Practice, practice, practice.” Elevating our behavior requires repeated action with a positive result in mind. With repetition, the behavior becomes our lifestyle. The new habit takes the place of the old one, and conscious effort is no longer required.

Step 4 – Set realistic goals. Every year millions of people make “New Year’s Resolutions.” According to U.S. News & World Report, the failure rate for New Year's resolutions is said to be about 80 percent, and most lose their resolve by mid-February. The truth is that most of us bite off more than we can chew for the behaviors we want to change. The promise we make to ourselves to lose “x” amount of pounds may seem overwhelming. Many of the promises we make are bigger than life itself. Rather, ask yourself, what is one small behavior change I can make towards the goal I want to achieve? Maybe I will track my food. Maybe I will watch my portion size. Maybe I will ask for a to-go container when eating out so that I don’t overdo it. The promises we make are not always able to be kept. Consider the worlds of the Kol Nidre, releasing us from the vows that we have been unable to keep over the past year.

Step 5 – Look in the mirror. While there is a time to pursue our goals actively, there also has to be time to reflect. Standing back from the canvas to assess our progress and adjust our course can beautify the creation of the elevated self that you are becoming.

Step 6 – Surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth. Oprah Winfrey was interviewed by Professor Brene Brown of Houston University  on “Being Brave.” Professor Brown asked Oprah about how she stays open to meaningful feedback. Oprah responded with a list of her top resources, the people who she can count on for the truth, as brutal as that might be. The truth doesn’t have to be given in a hurtful manner, but we have to believe that when feedback is given by those we trust, just as Abraham was coached by God, that we will ultimately thrive from what is said.

Step 7 – You have to take risks. If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll get the same results that you’ve always gotten. Reinvention is an art, a process. It is not a quick fix or an overnight solution. It takes deliberate intention, in Hebrew – kavanah – and practice – kevah – to transform ourselves into something more elevated.

As we welcome this New Year, what new chapter in your life’s journey are you beginning? Looking back, what are the changes you have made that brought you to this day, and what actions can you take to transform yourself in the year ahead? Like our ancestor Abraham, will you trust that inner voice within you that guides you on your way, that allows you to improve yourself so that you are blessed? May we each reach for kedushah, for holiness, as we wish for a shanah tovah u’metukah – a good and sweet year ahead.

Ken yehi ratzon – May it be God’s will.