Yitro

I’m thirsty. I’m hungry. I want to go back home. Are we there yet?

These are the words of many a family vacation. And coincidentally, or maybe not, they are the words of our ancestors as they ventured through the desert in search of the Promised Land. We had barely recovered from our hasty exit from the land of slavery, and yet we didn’t remember the pain of living under the harsh rule of Pharoah. Moses felt the burden of leadership, but had not developed the skills required to be an effective manager of multitudes.

It took an outsider, Moses’ father-in-law Yitro, to observe the exhaustion that Moses experienced as he listened to the daily cases brought before him by the Children of Israel. The text says: “When Yitro saw what Moses was doing to the people, he said, "What is this thing that you are doing to the people? Why do you sit by yourself, while all the people stand before you from morning till evening?" Moses explained that he judges between a man and his neighbor, and makes known the statutes of God and His teachings. And Yitro, in a calm, non-judgmental voice, advised Moses to appoint leaders who would judge minor matters, making it easier for Moses to take care of the larger issues. “If you do this thing, and the Lord commands you, you will be able to survive, and also, all this people will come upon their place in peace.”

Yitro sees that with the relentless work load that Moses bears by himself, he cannot be an effective leader. Rather than doing the job for the people, he acts towards the people, losing his objective leadership and letting his emotions get the best of him.

Yitro provides guidance for his son-in-law, and Moses follows Yitro’s suggestions, earning his MBA – his mastering of Biblical administration. It would appear, at least for now, that with a system of heads of the people, leaders of thousands, leaders of hundreds, leaders of fifties, and leaders of tens, Moses could do his job more effectively.

We all need mentorship at times in our lives. Of course we would like to think that we can manage each area of whatever job we have on our own, and that we can perform in a stellar way in every aspect. But the reality is that we all need a Yitro in our life. There isn’t a single one of us who can’t benefit from the experience of others.

According to Muse.com, “a mentor is a person who provides you with the tools, guidance, support, and feedback you need to thrive in your career. They’re often someone who has gone down the same road you’re on currently and is “there to advise you on what they’ve done and what’s worked for them.” The best mentors share some important qualities. Here are a few:

1.    It may seem obvious, but your mentor should have some kind of relevant background.  They should be able to help propel you forward because they’ve been there. They may be a few steps ahead of where you are now, but they understand your path.

2.    Just as important as your mentor having expertise is them being willing to share it with you. They should be open and excited to spread the word. The best mentors give advice not because they like to hear themselves talk, but because they genuinely want others to benefit from the hard-won wisdom they’ve learned over the course of their careers.

3. You want someone who gives truthful feedback without harsh and unconstructive criticism. You want someone who makes for a productive and fruitful partnership.

4.  Great mentors realize that they’re playing a long game, and as a result are patient in how they guide others down their path. They don’t expect immediate gains, and they don’t give up easily. More importantly, they care about maintaining and growing their professional relationships.

5.  Finding someone who is respectful is key, but so is finding someone who will give you some tough love when you need it. A good mentor knows how to deliver feedback in a way that’s constructive, kind, and direct, and doesn’t shy away from being honest because they’re afraid of hurting your feelings.

Thinking back over your years, who were the ones who understood your path? Who was willing to share the benefit of their experience? Who had the courage to give you constructive feedback rather than blanket approval of every idea? Which of those mentors are still in your life, being in your corner for the length of your game?

Look around this room? Who can be your Yitro as you move forward through life? Having sat side by side over these past weeks, I know that there is something that I can learn from each one of you. We each have wisdom to share, and if we but reach out for a hand, we can engage in a covenantal relationship, regardless of our commonalities and our differences. May we each find our thirst quenched and our hunger abated by what we share, so that we are not focused solely on the length of the journey, but by the quality of all there is to experience along the way.

Ken yehi ratzon – May it be God’s will